MY BLOG

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The gap you leave between babies depends on when you and your partner feel ready to have another child. It also depends on when you’re able to conceive. This can be difficult to control, even with careful planning. Having a rough idea of when you and your partner would be ready for another baby can be handy. There is always pros and cons for all sized gap.

If you’re in your late 30s, your fertility may influence how soon you start to try again. Women’s fertility starts to decline from the age of 35 onwards. How long you decide to wait may also depend on your recovery from your last pregnancy. It’s best for your health to recover from one pregnancy and birth before embarking on the next.

Conceiving a baby within six months of your last birth can increase the risk of you developing the following during pregnancy:

• Placental abruption
• Iron deficiency anaemia

Research has also shown that a longer gap may be better for your baby, too.

Compared with a longer gap, babies conceived within six months of a previous pregnancy are at a higher risk of:

• Being born prematurely
• Measuring small for their dates
• Having a low birth weight

There is also an increased risk of a baby having a congenital condition, such as a heart condition.

A gap of at least 18 months will give you time to recover your energy and replenish the nutrients you lost during your previous pregnancy.

You’ll also have time to mentally and physically prepare yourself for getting pregnant again and having a new addition to your family.

Bear in mind that a gap of between 18 months and about two years means you won’t have as much me-time as you had in your first pregnancy. You’ll have a small child taking up your time and energy. However, you’ll have the benefit of experience. You may find that you cope better with your second pregnancy because you’re more aware of what to expect.

Apart from your own health and well-being, you may be influenced by how age gaps would affect your family life. A small gap between siblings gets the challenging baby years over with more quickly. But it also means that the expenses come closer together. You may also find your children are more likely to squabble as their interests overlap. No matter how many toys there are in your house, they’re sure to both want the same one at the same time.

Larger gaps offer the opportunity to enjoy each child as an individual. You will have time to give them your undivided attention for the first few years. It also means you can spread the cost of having children over a longer period of time and you can probably reuse a lot of your baby equipment.

However, it’s also possible that siblings with a large age gap may grow up less close to one another. There’s also the chance that your older child may resent a younger sibling.

On the plus side, one study showed that longer gaps can improve the reading and maths skills of older children. Siblings with more than two years’ age difference scored better than children born closer together. This may be because they had more one-to-one time with their parents.

Whichever age gap you choose, you’re sure to make it work for you and your family. If you’re still undecided, learn more about the pros and cons of different sibling age gaps. There are no rules about what age difference between babies works best. Plus, it depends how you think of things and what your family is like. But there are some reasons why a certain age gap might suit you and your family.

Small gap: Under two years

Pros:

• Your children are likely to play together.
• You’ll get the most exhausted periods of pregnancy and the early years done all together.
• Having more siblings of a similar age might make kids more creative.
• Your children are more likely to be into similar activities, games and TV shows, which should make your life easier.
• When you’re on maternity leave, you’ll get to spend more time with your eldest child too.

Cons:

• Can be tiring looking after a toddler when you’re pregnant, especially if your calcium and iron stores are still low from your previous pregnancy.
• Increased risk of complications in labour, including a rise in pre-term birth.
• Toddlers might be jealous of or resent a new baby.

Medium gap: Two to four years

Pros:

• Your body will have had time to get back to normal after round one.
• With this gap, you’ll have the lowest risk of having preterm birth and a low birth weight baby.
• You can save cash by re-using the baby equipment your first child doesn’t need any more.
• You’ll be mostly up-to-date with your knowledge about all things baby-related.

Cons:

• The age gap might be too big for the siblings to play together or have things in common for a while.

Longer gap: over four years

Pros:

• Your eldest child can help out when the baby arrives.
• Your older child will most likely be at school so you can get lots of one-on-one time with your newborn.
• The dynamic can be lovely, with the older child looking after the younger one.
• The gap will mean you won’t feel like you’ve been constantly shattered with young babies for years.
• Jealousy and resentment might be less of an issue.

Cons:

• You might have to refresh your baby knowledge quite a bit, with some advice having changed along the way.
• With bigger gaps, your children may be into different things so not as close until they’re much older.
• Gaps of over five years are associated with pregnancy and birth problems, not just because you’re likely to be an older mum.